Every February, Valentine’s Day serves as a reminder to let our romantic partners know we care about them and just how important they are to us. We might pick up a corny greeting card, box of chocolates, or plan a special dinner date out. But what if we took it a step further and used this opportunity to be more intentional and make a commitment to deepen our relationship? 

Even if you are content with your partnership, you can easily fall into routines or patterns and let your relationship coast on auto-pilot. If you have children or demanding jobs, finding quality time to spend together can be especially hard. Sex may be good but infrequent at best. Regardless of how long you’ve been together, it’s worth the effort to make your relationship just that much juicier.

How to get started? Experts at the Gottman Institute have spent decades studying married couples to uncover the secrets to happy, healthy relationships. They use the metaphor of a “Sound Relationship House” to describe scientifically proven foundational building blocks for sturdy, lasting bonds. I’d like to focus on three of the principles they have identified that you can adopt to strengthen your relationship starting today.

The following are tried-and-true ways to reconnect with your partner and keep the passion of your relationship alive and thriving.

Express Fondness and Appreciation. Yes, you love and respect your partner, but how often do you let them know? Don’t assume they can read your mind or that they already know. They need to hear it. If your partner always takes responsibility for certain chores or fixing things around the house, acknowledge that by saying something like: “I really appreciate how you ______ (fill in the specific act that they do). I love how you take care of us.” Maybe your boo volunteers or makes a point of donating time or money to those in need. You could say, “I really admire how you look out for our community.” 

The point is to identify what you appreciate about your partner and vocalize it, connecting the behavior to its impact on you and others. You could make a goal of expressing your fondness at least once per day. This practice will not only make your partner feel good, it keeps you focused on the positive, which can help sustain your partnership in times of conflict or stress. 

Turn Toward. Your partner might reach out for attention or comfort, verbally or through unspoken body language. For example, they might unexpectedly grab your hand or share a detail about their day. That is what the Gottmans refer to as a “bid” for connection or support. It’s key to stay tuned to those bids and to turn toward your partner in response, i.e., receive and squeeze their hand or say something like, “Really? Tell me more about that.” 

When you make the commitment to turn toward your partner rather than ignore their signals or reject them, you communicate that you are open and receptive to their needs. If your partner tells you about something that happened to them at work or about a goal they reached, it’s time to put down the phone, turn off the TV, and give them your full, undivided attention. You can reinforce this by physically turning toward your partner and making eye contact. Here’s your opportunity to listen and make your loved one know you hear them. If your partner is troubled, you can validate their feelings by saying, “That sounds hard” or “I’m sorry you’re so frustrated by what happened.” No need to solve the problem; just empathize. This habit will encourage your partner to respond in kind when you are seeking support or acknowledgement. 

Positive Regard. Expressing fondness and turning toward your partner are building blocks of positive regard. By deciding to accentuate the positive about your partner, you focus your attention on their good qualities and contributions to the relationship rather than on the negative. It’s easy to notice what they didn’t do or to criticize this thing or that, but a negative perspective only undermines your bond. While as human beings, we may be wired to look for what’s wrong to protect ourselves, we can’t let that tendency drown out the good. 

Developing positive regard for your partner is not a passive step but an active effort. What do you appreciate and admire most about your partner? Make a point of bringing those characteristics or behaviors into focus. Let the small stuff slide and give your partner the benefit of the doubt if they make a mistake. This principle will fill the well of positivity that you can rely on when conflicts arise. It can also create a culture of positivity in the relationship that benefits you too.

These principles may seem deceptively simple but they are effective techniques for building strong, lasting relationships. I often assign clients homework of expressing positive regard at least once a day, and we can quickly see how that creates a shift in their behavior and feelings toward each other. Put them into practice in addition to buying that box of chocolates (dark chocolate, please). 

If you and your partner are interested in learning three powerful ways to make love last, attend my upcoming workshop, "Heartsongs" for couples only on February 25th. We'll use literature and lyrics to help you deepen your intimacy, connect with compassion and more.

Imagine this scenario: You are at work one day and receive an email announcing that a colleague (who joined the organization later than you) was promoted above you or received a key assignment you were hoping for. Like a team player, you congratulate your coworker, but you quietly seethe about the lost opportunity. 

What did you do wrong? Why weren’t you the one to receive that raise or plum project? These are questions you may have, but might never ask out loud.

This may be a familiar experience. And it’s a lesson, too. As Black women, we are often on the front lines for social justice and quick to speak up for others. But when it comes to our personal needs, some of us might be reluctant to rally for ourselves. Self-advocacy is an important life skill that you need to create the life you want and deserve.

You may not have adopted self-advocacy growing up if your parents didn’t allow you to have a voice in the home, or if you never witnessed it in practice because they didn’t know how to advocate for themselves in a hostile world. Without the ability to identify what you want and ask for it unapologetically, you may have allowed others to take advantage or walk all over you.

But it’s never too late to learn self-advocacy and the ability to speak up for what matters to you. You have responsibilities, such as putting in the work, but you also have rights – including the right to be heard and treated equally.

What Stops You from Speaking Up?

I often explore this issue in my therapy practice. Some clients don’t self-advocate because they fear rejection or an angry response if they do stand up for themselves. That is the case at work as well as in relationships, where women often wait and wait for a partner to take the next step out of fear of losing them if they ask for what they want. 

Another barrier to self-advocacy might be settling for another person’s vision of who you are. Just because a boss doesn’t see you in a leadership position or doesn’t recognize your contributions doesn’t mean you have to accept their perspective.

Racism and sexism may also be factors. If you consciously or unconsciously assumed that a certain opportunity would never be open to a woman or a person of color, you might never go for it. The experience of bias or microaggressions might also cause you to hold back. 

Becoming Your Own Advocate

Learning to speak up for yourself can seem daunting. But you can do it with some internal examination and these steps:

Clarify Your Values. To practice self-advocacy, you need to first identify what you value, whether that’s in a career or in a relationship. What matters to you most in this situation?  What do you need? Try this exercise to help you discover your core values and write them down.

Find the Right Time. Once you are clear about your values, like any new skill, self-advocacy takes planning. If you want to ask for a promotion or new title to match your growing responsibilities, think through who you will ask, where and when. Your next one-on-one meeting or an annual review might be the ideal opportunity. 

Make Your Case. Prepare your argument: What contributions have you made that warrant the new position? If you can quantify how you’ve improved the bottom line or cite examples of achievements, it will build your confidence and increase the likelihood you’ll be heard. 

Get Feedback. Ask a mentor, friend, career coach or therapist to role-play with you and provide feedback. Even making the ask of an empty chair can have benefits. 

Plan for Plan B. Finally, decide what you will do if the answer is no. It may be enough for you to have stated what you want. But if it’s not, consider asking your boss what you need to do to earn the promotion or raise. Do you need to receive additional training? Or volunteer for a high-profile project? Or you might simply decide it’s time to dust off your resume and to move on.

In the case of a romantic relationship, the process of self-advocacy is the same: zero in on what you value and want, practice the conversation you will have, and consider what you’ll do if your partner doesn’t respond the way you hoped. By asking for a commitment, you might get it. But if you are disappointed, you’ll walk away with a stronger sense of who you are and what you need to be happy.

Whatever happens at work or in life, standing up for your values will give you a greater sense of agency and strength in knowing you are responsible for your life.

Despite easier access to make connections and to try to find a love match, many people have a hate-hate relationship with dating. First dates may feel awkward, building online profiles may feel tedious, managing them may feel like yet another to-do on your list, and – no matter how hard you try – you will probably mismatch somewhere along the way. If you’re recovering from a broken heart, or your heart is hardened from years of strife, you may have a hard time being vulnerable again.

But before you give up, consider a fresh perspective and take the approach of “mindful dating.” Dating mindfully means bringing awareness and curiosity to your journey and seeing it as a learning experience. Dating mindfully allows you to be intentional, engaged, and proactive rather than passive, defensive, and reactive. 

Here are some qualities you can develop or strengthen through mindful dating:

• Clarity: As you connect with different people, you can fine-tune what you like and don’t like in your ideal partner. No need to play games or string anybody along if you know you’re not interested. 
  

• Self-reflection. You can learn to spot patterns in behavior – positive and negative – and recognize patterns in potential partners as well. 
  

• Resilience: You’ll learn to move through rejection when things don’t work out – whether you decided it wasn’t a good fit or the other person did. Knowing that you can bounce back can give you the courage to try again. 
  

• Confidence: Knowing that you have options and that you’re choosing to meet new people can empower you and boost your self-esteem. I like to think of dating as akin to attending a cocktail party. You go with the intention of having fun, meeting interesting people, and being interesting yourself. You don’t expect to put too much emphasis on any one person because you are in meet-and-mingle mode. At a party, there will be some people you click with more than others. The same goes for dating. 
  

• Self-respect: Responding to people who behave badly (like “ghosting,” an unfortunate reality of today’s dating culture), gives you an opportunity to refine your boundaries and improve your ability to maintain them.
  

• Assertiveness: Ask for what you want, and make clear what you don’t want. You might feel vulnerable and worry about “losing” a potential partner if you speak up; but know that the person you’re looking for is one who appreciates your authenticity and is not intimidated by you.

Dating doesn’t have to be a dreaded to-do. You have the power to decide how you want to enter into this experience, so set your intentions. Mindful dating allows you to come to the table knowing not only what you have to offer, but also what you can learn. Whether you meet the love of your life or a really good friend, you can become a better version of yourself. 

Nearly two years later, it’s safe to say that most of us never could have imagined we would still be battling COVID-19. In 2020, the only defenses we were told we had were masks and social distancing, and people were divided about whether lockdown measures were the right thing to do. We now have broad access to various COVID-19 vaccines, but this has added yet another layer of drama to an already complicated situation: Vaccinated people vs. Unvaccinated people. 

Vaccine mandates in many cities in the U.S. mean that some people are enjoying freedom and mobility that we haven’t experienced since early 2020, while others are having to determine if they can frequent venues they used to, or if they need to leave their jobs altogether. Some unvaccinated people say the mandates affect their ability to earn a living and move freely, and they feel constricted and left out. They also may be apprehensive about sharing their status because of the potential fallout and stigma attached to being unvaccinated, especially from family and friends. 

With the holidays approaching, some folks are making the tough decision to change up their traditions and not visit with some family members, or host vaccinated-only gatherings. These decisions are deeply personal, and this charged environment is causing division and stress. But what vaxxed and unvaxxed have in common is fear, frustration and fatigue, and that could be a starting point for finding common ground and creating more peace for everyone involved. 

A major factor contributing to wariness on both sides is uncertainty. We don’t know how long COVID-19 is going to be around or how much longer our daily lives will be affected. We don’t know if new variants will crop up, and because some folks can be asymptomatic, we may not even know if we or others have the virus. 

Another factor affecting us all is grief. With nearly 770,000 killed in the US alone, the swiftness with which the disease has cleaved through our ranks has put us in a continued state of mourning since 2020. These profound losses can lead to sadness, hopelessness, and depression if not for maintaining connections, rituals, and practices that keep us grounded and lift our spirits.

And we are all coping with change in navigating this new Covid-era landscape. 

The uncertainty, grief, and change all contribute to ongoing stress and trauma that we have experienced, and it often shows up as stress, fear, anxiety, and anger.  

Compounding those emotions is some people’s need to choose a side as if it's “us against them” rather than all of us against the pandemic. 

There’s nothing wrong with standing by how you feel. We’re all making decisions based on the information we have access to, and by weighing our own tolerance for risk.  

But arguing about who’s right won’t solve anything and may endanger already frayed relationships. At this point, it’s probably unlikely that you will convince anyone to agree with you, especially if you’re being dogmatic and judgmental. What we can do to lower the tension in that communication is to set and honor your own boundaries. 

If you’re unvaccinated and still have questions, then stand by that as you adhere to distancing and masking to protect your health and that of others and continue to seek answers from trustworthy sources based on science. Remember that it’s not OK to force others to abide by your health choices. 

If you’re vaccinated and don’t feel comfortable around people who aren’t vaccinated, then stand by that as well. Keep your distance and mask up, and show patience and extend grace to your fellow human beings. Know that many people who aren’t vaccinated feel under attack for their personal decisions. 

We’re all experiencing fear, fatigue, and apprehension in these battle-scarred days of Covid-19; and imposing our views on one another is not a sustainable path forward. We will come out of this much stronger if we agree to disagree -- and each of us does what we need to do to stay safe.

Setting limits isn’t limiting; it can set you free.

The holiday season can be “the most wonderful time of the year” -- a bright time for celebration and reflection, for connecting with family and friends, and for loving up on one another. It can also be a time of stress and funk if some family members didn’t get that “good tidings” memo, or if you just need some extra TLC. Either way, in addition to those beautifully wrapped presents, your holiday will be more joyful if you remember to bring this very important thing: boundaries!

When it comes to sharing space with family you don’t typically spend that much time with, or who still see you as the little girl you were 30 years ago, or who love to tell those embarrassing stories about you over and over again, healthy personal boundaries will help you bask in the holiday spirit. Simply put, personal boundaries are the limits we set for ourselves in relationships. A person with healthy boundaries can say ‘no’ to others with ease, can check someone’s bullying or bad behavior, and can express their needs without feeling as if they are being selfish or demanding. By contrast, someone with rigid boundaries may avoid close relationships and have trouble asking for help, while someone with porous boundaries may overshare personal information, find it hard to say no and be all up in other people’s relationships and problems.

Boundaries aren’t a bad thing, or about being selfish or disrespectful. In fact, setting boundaries is a powerful, liberating act of self-care. In other words, setting limits can set you free. If you don’t set limits -- or guardrails -- for how you operate in your relationships, you will end up drifting into your zones of discomfort, leading to frustration, anger and self-blame. You may be too dependent on what loved ones think of you, or find yourself giving in to requests to “keep the peace” and not disappoint others. Boundaries are a way for you to stand in your power and decide what works for you and what doesn’t. Or, as Dr. Brene Brown says, “boundaries are simply what’s okay and what’s not okay.”

But it’s not always easy to hold boundaries firmly and express them confidently -- especially to those we love and respect. In the company of elders, that little girl in you may still feel the need to be extra deferential. Why? Because that little girl still wants approval and love. Nancy Levin, life coach, author of the upcoming book, Setting Boundaries Will Set You Free, and advocate for becoming what she calls a “boundary badass,” says we often don’t set boundaries at all, much less express them, because we’re afraid of how it might offend others. In an article for O magazine, Levin said, “It’s our fear that keeps us in the people-pleasing.”

This is especially true around the holiday season, when we may feel obligated to do things a certain way, feel a certain way, or express ourselves a certain way because of family, culture or traditions. But things can change, and you have the right to change them. As Dr. Brown wrote for Oprah.com, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”

Here are eight healthy ways to set boundaries, limit your stress and cultivate joy:

Say no. Hard stop. No is a powerful boundary and a complete sentence. Practice saying it and see how it feels: “No.” Although it may seem abrupt, there may be times that “No” is just what’s needed. If "No. Hard-stop." stresses you out, try option 2, below, to soften the delivery a bit.

Lead with “Unfortunately ...” This word can be super helpful in setting boundaries when you want to convey empathy but also reject a request. “Unfortunately ... ” lets you communicate your regret that you won’t meet the person’s expectations; but allows you to establish a boundary in a strong way. “Unfortunately, we can’t join you,” acknowledges and validates your potential host’s disappointment while ensuring that you clearly communicate your needs.

Make it clear. Nothing confuses things more than a fuzzy boundary. Statements like “I might not have time to make sweet potato tarts for the potluck,” or “I don’t know if I can bring them” leave room for expectations and negotiation. “Unfortunately I won’t be able to make them” leaves no room for misinterpretation.

Accept “no.” Let’s say a healthier lifestyle is important to you, and instead of sitting around stuffed and in a stupor after the holiday meal, you want to start a new tradition of taking a half-hour walk to get it in and strengthen family ties. You’d be in good company -- a New York Times article cited a study that showed a 20-minute walk shortly after dinner led to lower blood sugar levels in people with Type 2 diabetes than either a walk before dinner or no walking at all. And walk-and-talks can lead to healthier, happier connections. But instead of pressuring those who don’t want to join you, you can have and show healthy boundaries by accepting somebody else’s “No.” and keeping it moving.

Check in with yourself about meeting expectations. Ask yourself: how do I feel about being in this space, spending x amount of time with certain people, or meeting certain requests? Be honest. Does it align with your values? The answer will help you make a thoughtful decision about what’s best for you in the moment.

Say what you feel. Remember that feelings are usually one word, such as happy, sad, confused, uncomfortable, tired, bored, angry. And no, “some kind of way” is not a feeling. What’s the one word that best describes how you’re feeling? To set a clear boundary, say: “You know, Cousin, it really makes me uncomfortable when you say (or do)...” and then explain what it is they say or do. Stick to the facts, don’t project your criticism of their being rude or disrespectful, even if you feel that’s the case. Stating your feelings (sans criticism) creates a space for someone to hear their impact on you. Criticism will put them on defense.

“A person with healthy boundaries can say ‘no’ to others with ease, can check someone’s bullying or bad behavior, and can express their needs without feeling selfish or demanding.”

Say what you need. Once you’ve said what you feel, say, “please don’t do that anymore.” You can’t predict their response, but you know you’ve set your limits and told them not to cross them. If they ignore you, you can check them again, and if they keep at it, know that you can always leave, or ask them to leave.

Bring your adult self to the family party. That 12-year-old in you may want to be a good girl who never talks back and always does what she’s told, but it’s important to recognize that it’s your adult self attending the gathering. This helps set a new boundary for those who might still see you and treat you as if you haven’t aged in 30 years. The 12-year-old you may not feel comfortable suggesting something new or saying no, but the grownup you can’t leave that 12-year-old hanging. Remember who you are outside of your family dynamics. Bring that version of you to the party. That 12-year-old can let her take over, set healthy boundaries and find joy in the freedom they create.

Robin D. Stone is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor at Positive Psychology Associates in Manhattan. She is the author of No Secret, No Lies: How Black Families Can Heal from Sexual Abuse and lead writer of the Essence book, The Black Women’s Guide to Healthy Living. Robin is currently developing an expressive arts wellness center in Harlem, New York. Learn more about Robin’s services and connect with her at robinstone.com.

By the time couples come to see me to get support for a struggling relationship, many of them are already in crisis. They’re not speaking about issues that matter, or they’re arguing incessantly, or they’re stepping out on each other and on the verge of separation or divorce. At this point, one of the first questions I often ask is: Are you here to save your relationship or to find an amicable way to end it?

If partners are committed to staying together, I encourage them to focus on remembering why they became friends in the first place as a way to begin reinforcing the foundation of their relationship. At the heart of every healthy romantic relationship are some basic building blocks of friendship. You may need to return to these fundamentals to reconnect with each other. Or you may have been together for years, but this is all new to you. Either way, going back to the basics can take your relationship to a deeper level.

Here are seven ways to be each other’s best friend (again):

Listen with intent. Let your partner know that you not only hear the words they’re saying, but that you get the meaning of what they’re saying. If they’re animated and say they had a great day at work, they aced the presentation and the clients gave good feedback, then you could say: “Great, hon!” and keep it moving. OR, you could mirror their energy and say, “You seem really happy about how well the presentation went. Sounds like the clients really liked it!”

This reflection shows your partner that you understand the meaning of what they said and creates an opening that allows them to tell you more about the experience. They know you’re engaged and right there with them. That doesn’t mean to solve a problem (unless they ask for help to do so), but to empathize with them (“I can see how you’d be frustrated by the situation.”) Another way to encourage them to share more is to ask open-ended questions (that generate more than one-word answers) with genuine curiosity, like “Is there anything more?” or “What do you need from me right now?” This also opens a path for them to go deeper. These deep-listening skills can help you both feel heard in times of conflict.

Tune in to each other. Listening goes beyond reflecting. Tune in when your partner reaches out for your attention. For example, if he loves the TV show Power, and excitedly describes a scene he just saw, get into his enthusiasm for the drama -- even if Power isn’t your thing. Instead of, “I don’t know why you like that crazy show,” try something like, “I know you love that crazy Tommy! What makes you like that character so much?” This way of engaging, which is known as “Turning Toward” in the Gottman Method of couple’s therapy, can go a long way toward connecting with your partner, especially when they’re trying to connect with you. 

Know each other’s internal world. Who’s your partner’s best friend? What’s the name of that super supportive co-worker, or the one who gets on their nerves? Who’s the favorite cousin they grew up with who is more like a sibling to them? These details are part of your partner’s internal world, and knowing them helps you understand your partner on a deeper level. Learn the sports teams they follow, their favorite players, the type of wine they favor, and the people who affect the quality of their days. Invest your time and attention in knowing their world -- outside of your world together.

Show appreciation for each other. How often do you explicitly thank your partner? You might think they already know that you appreciate them or that you express it in other ways (i.e., sex or a general “I love you”).  However, by hearing your gratitude for a specific action can make them feel not only loved but seen. Go deeper than admiring how they look or thanking them for the chores they do every week. Did you like how he took the lead on researching furniture prices for your new apartment together? Tell him you appreciated how he stepped up to find that perfect sofa. Then say why it mattered: Maybe it made you feel taken care of, or maybe it showed how much he cared about making the space reflect both of you. 

Also tell him something you admire about him: how he strives to keep his word, or his dedication to supporting the seniors at church. Letting your partner know you value them is another way of showing your love.

Spend quality time. Turn off the TV, sideline your devices and have a real conversation. Not about politics or the latest news story; but about goals, dreams, concerns or fears. For a little help, consider the 36 questions in a provocative study that explores accelerating intimacy between strangers (the idea is to promote mutual vulnerability, which fosters closeness). For more QT, try a new recipe and prepare a meal -- and then clean up -- together. Turn up the music and sing and dance. Look into each other’s eyes. The goal is to have fun and get to know each other better. 

Share in something that’s important to your partner. You might share a spiritual practice or a grounding ritual like meditation. Or perhaps you can share a passion -- something special or even something silly -- that you both might enjoy doing together. Invite them to take a dance class (ballroom, step, tango, salsa -- the options are endless), a cooking class, a paint-n-sip, a power walk in the park, a bicycle ride, or a visit to their favorite museum. The key is that it’s something you both believe you will enjoy, and that it will give you the chance to learn something new about your boo.

Know their “love language.” We all process love differently, and by understanding your partner’s “love language” -- according to Dr. Gary Chapman’s long-standing bestseller The 5 Love Languages -- you can communicate your love to them in a way that resonates most deeply with them. The five love languages are 1) words of affirmation 2) acts of service 3) receiving gifts 4) quality time and 5) personal touch. Understanding their love languages helps you know what you respond to as well as what makes your partner feel loved.

Do you and your partner need to rekindle your connection? If you’re a New York couple looking to reconnect, join us for our Better Together events -- relationship-enrichment workshops for married couples, baes and boos. Click here to find out more. 

Robin D. Stone is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor at Positive Psychology Associates in Manhattan. She is the author of No Secret, No Lies: How Black Families Can Heal from Sexual Abuse and lead writer of the Essence book, The Black Women’s Guide to Healthy Living. Robin is currently developing an expressive arts wellness center in Harlem, New York. Learn more about Robin’s services and connect with her at robinstone.com.

'Language, for traditionally oral peoples, is not a specific human possession,
but is a property of the animate earth, in which we humans participate.'  
David Abram, Becoming Animal: An Earthly Cosmology

On a bright, sunny Sunday, the crisper, cooler weather enticed my fiancé, Rodney, and me outside to play.

Last weekend we took to the trails at the Celery Farm nature preserve, a 107-acre freshwater wetland in Allendale, N.J. (he’s a New Jerseyan by way of Brooklyn, and the outing was his idea). We walked for an hour or so in the late summer sun, climbing observation towers and checking out the chipmunks and butterflies scurrying here and there, and the turtles, herons, and mallards hanging out on Lake Appert. We also took more than a few self-ies (or us-ies, depending on your perspective). And we stopped to listen

When was the last time you actually listened to a forest, or a meadow or a field? Listened to the trees shhh-shhhing? The crickets sceeting? The hawks cawing? The earth breathing? You have to be still to hear, and it’s worth being still because they have so much to say.

Yes, we boosted our vitamin D from time in the sun, we upped our heart rate by ambling over roots, twigs and stones; and we spent good time enjoying each other’s company.

We also connected with the universe. Being outside, surrounded by nature, makes me feel grateful to be alive, and humbled to be a small part of this never-ending cycle of birth, life, and death. It reminds me of how we humans are but bit players on this broad stage of species; in our absence the show definitely will go on. I appreciate my time here, my place in this space, and my fellow inhabitants, and I leave de-stressed, and with my head cleared of cobwebs of less important things.  

As a city girl, I don’t venture outdoors enough. My idea of getting out usually is a walk along the Hudson River and a jog around my Harlem neighborhood track. That’s good, but it's not exactly connecting with the universe.

If doctors prescribed an escape to the park, to a trail, or even to a community garden, we’d all be better off for having stopped to listen and cultivate a closer, more meaningful relationship with nature, with the universe and with ourselves. Of the three, we humans stand to benefit most of all.

On our way back to his home, Rodney and I stopped at a farmer’s market to pick up ingredients for that night’s dinner (grilled chicken legs and thighs, summer corn salad, Greek salad and garlicky guacamole). As we headed to my home in the city later that night, I wondered what the herons and mallards were saying, and looked forward to returning to hear them again.