Robin Stone, LMHC, PLLC
Psychotherapist, Author, Speaker

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Robin D. Stone is a New York City based psychotherapist, coach and consultant who works to help you achieve your most optimal self. 

Posts tagged resilience
Cultivating Fortitude, Harvesting Resolve: 6 ways to persevere in turbulent times
 

Political change is crashing through the nation, bringing profound shifts in our government and culture. For many, this moment sparks fear, anxiety, and even a sense of isolation. In uncertain times when the ground beneath us feels unsteady and the future seems unclear, it’s easy to feel as though there is no recourse. But history reminds us that we are not alone in struggle, and that we have the strength to overcome, take root, and bloom.

Surveys from last year revealed that the U.S. presidential election and the nation’s future were significant sources of stress for many Americans. Today, I’m hearing from some clients that the tumultuous start of this new presidential administration has only intensified their anxiety. This includes profound fears and worries about the potential consequences of swift, unilateral actions that appear aimed at undoing generations of civil rights progress.

In every era, Black women have stood at the forefront of battles for justice, equality, and human dignity. Our ancestors and elders, from the courageous women of the Civil Rights Movement to the everyday heroes of today, teach us what it means to persevere in the face of unimaginable odds. The times may have changed, but the fight for our rights, our humanity, and our future continues.

As we mount a collective response to this crisis of the nation’s conscience, it’s critical that we be attuned to our bodies and minds to ensure that we will live to fight each day. How do we build the fortitude necessary to carry on? How do we deepen the well of strength from which we draw? Progress is not just about pushing forward—it’s about nourishing your spirit, fortifying your foundation, and creating a life that equips you to resist, persist, and thrive. As Angela Davis describes in this video, practicing Radical Self-care “means being able to bring our entire selves to the movement.” 

Here are six ways to cultivate fortitude and harvest resolve in turbulent times:

1. Sanctify Your Home

Make your home an oasis of peace where you feel safe and affirmed. Surround yourself with items that reflect your culture and history. Consider vibrant African textiles, portraits of family,  elders and ancestors, and other images that honor the beauty of Blackness. When you enter your home, it should feel like stepping into a sacred and welcoming place.

2. Center Yourself

Rosa Parks, the fierce force behind the Montgomery Bus Boycott, was a yogi. Her practice of yoga helped her find calm and clarity amidst chaos. Prayer and meditation, yoga, breath work, and other grounding practices can center your mind and body and nourish your spirit, helping to reduce stress and anxiety. These practices also connect us to a lineage of Black women who have used inner peace as a tool of resistance.

3. Move Your Body

Movement is medicine. Whether it’s dancing to your favorite playlist, taking a walk, or just taking the stairs, physical activity can counteract the effects of stress, anxiety, and depression. Exercise boosts endorphins, sharpens your focus, and taps into the power you hold within your body. 

4. Get Creative.

In 2004, as she reeled from the re-election of George W. Bush, the wise word warrior Toni Morrison quoted a friend who challenged her to start writing: “This is precisely the time when artists go to work—not when everything is fine, but in times of dread,” Morrison recounted in The Nation. Make time to write, draw, paint, curate a playlist, see a play, visit a museum, or find some other way to engage in or with creative expression. Doing so may help you explore and express what you may not be ready or able to say directly. 

5. Get Rest

We often feel the weight of the world on our shoulders, but we cannot fight effectively without rest. The Nap Ministry, a movement founded by Tricia Hersey, reminds us that rest is resistance. Rest allows us to heal and to dream of new possibilities. By prioritizing sleep, naps, and unstructured downtime, we honor our bodies and spirits. Remember, rest is self-preservation.

6. Find Your Community

Fortitude flourishes when individuals come together. Black women have always looked to one another—whether in houses of worship, salons, or social justice circles—to strategize, support, and strengthen our collective determination. Find like-minded people who understand your struggles and your triumphs. Win With Black Women and Higher Heights for America are among the many politically oriented groups supporting the engagement and advancement of Black women.  Together, you can create strategies to support not only yourself but also your community.

An Invitation to Deepen Your Well of Resolve

I invite you to grab your journal and take 5 minutes to write and reflect. Listen to and consider the lyrics of Sweet Honey in the Rock’s song, “I’m Gon’ Stand:”

We shall not bow down to racism

We shall not bow down to injustice

We shall not bow down to exploitation 

Whatchya gonna do?


I’m gon’ stand!

I’m gon’ stand!

I’m gon’ stand!

I’m gon’ stand! 

I just can’t tolerate racism

I just can’t tolerate injustice

I just won’t tolerate exploitation

Whatcha gonna do?

I’m Gon’ Stand!

I’m Gon’ Stand!

I’m Gon’ Stand!

I’m Gon’ Stand!

We will not obey racism

We will not obey injustice

We will not obey exploitation

I’m Gon’ Stand!

I’m Gon’ Stand!

I’m Gon’ Stand!

I’m Gon’ Stand!

Write about how these words resonate with you. Consider what it means to stand in today’s world? Write freely, with no concern about grammar, spelling or prying eyes.


When you’re done, read what you wrote and consider what thoughts and feelings your words bring up. Then take a few more minutes to write about how your own words inspire you to strengthen your resolve and nurture your fortitude for the battles ahead.

 
Ritual: Your Secret Source of Wellness and Resilience
 

During the holiday season, many of us turn our focus away from work and to-do lists and toward time with friends, family, and our religious or spiritual traditions. No matter what and how you celebrate, rituals can be an important part of your spiritual practice. 

In my forthcoming book with co-author Dr. Rhonda Wells-Wilbon, we describe principles and practices that help Black women build resilience in the face of racism. One powerful practice that is central to our spiritual wellness is ritual. A simple definition of ritual is a series of acts regularly repeated in a specific manner. Research shows that rituals can enhance our experiences, increase our sense of control, and even reduce anxiety. 

Rituals can include meditation, lighting candles, journaling or taking walks in nature – any regular practice that promotes a sense of calm and stability. One example of someone who embodied spirituality and ritual is the iconic Tina Turner. During her turbulent marriage to Ike Turner, Tina Turner began a practice of chanting – a ritualistic aspect of her decades-long Buddhist practice that she continued years after her divorce and even explored through her music. 

Chanting is a grounding ritual that could be incorporated into any spiritual practice. Chanting, including mantras (chants of encouragement or inspiration), engages the neurotransmitters in your brain, helping to reduce stress, improve concentration and support quality sleep.

Other examples of grounding rituals include prayer, stretching or yoga, and listening to or making music and sounds. Rituals can be performed alone or in community with others. Whatever form they take, rituals that promote stability and peacefulness help us build resilience. They can serve as a foundation for cultivating inner strength, confidence, belief in the possibilities, and faith during hard times. 

Black women understand ritual. Many of us grew up with the rituals of saying grace before a meal, of attending weekly service at our house of worship, or starting and ending gatherings with the Word. During the height of the Covid pandemic, the hit song by Nigerian singer-songwriter Sinache, “Way Maker,” became the most played song in churches across America in 2020. Leaning into music – uplifting songs and playlists that we turn to again and again – is another example of ritual that replenishes and nourishes

Ritual is one way that Black women infuse spirituality into what we do and how we go about doing our work. Our spirituality can be a guide and an anchor, offering us calm, stability, and hope. Spirituality is also about connecting with other people who share similar values. In The Spirit of Intimacy, Sobonfu Somé suggests that without Spirit we would have never made it to where we are today. 

Grounding Your Spiritual Practice

You may already have rituals incorporated into your daily routine. But if you don’t, it’s never too late to start. In our book, we offer several strategies for how Black women can build resilience through action and reflection. The following is an example of a practice that can become part of your repertoire of rituals. 

Energy Ritual: Set aside 10 to 15 minutes and find a quiet place. Use a timer so you can focus without thinking about the time. Settle your body and be still. Inhale deeply and exhale fully. Each time you inhale, focus on breathing in positive, healing energy. When you exhale, focus on letting go of negative, taxing energy. In that time and space, reflect and listen for messages from deep within yourself. Consider what is bringing you positive, uplifting energy, and what in your life is tapping and depleting your energy. 

When you’re done, take a few minutes more to write down a few thoughts and feelings that came up during the ritual, where you feel them in your body. Also note any action you might want to take to address any messages that came to you. 

Continue this ritual regularly, adding more time as you go. Consider what other rituals you might incorporate to build and enhance your spiritual practice.