Robin Stone, LMHC, PLLC
Psychotherapist, Author, Speaker

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Robin D. Stone is a New York City based psychotherapist, coach and consultant who works to help you achieve your most optimal self. 

Posts tagged spiritual practice
Ritual: Your Secret Source of Wellness and Resilience
 

During the holiday season, many of us turn our focus away from work and to-do lists and toward time with friends, family, and our religious or spiritual traditions. No matter what and how you celebrate, rituals can be an important part of your spiritual practice. 

In my forthcoming book with co-author Dr. Rhonda Wells-Wilbon, we describe principles and practices that help Black women build resilience in the face of racism. One powerful practice that is central to our spiritual wellness is ritual. A simple definition of ritual is a series of acts regularly repeated in a specific manner. Research shows that rituals can enhance our experiences, increase our sense of control, and even reduce anxiety. 

Rituals can include meditation, lighting candles, journaling or taking walks in nature – any regular practice that promotes a sense of calm and stability. One example of someone who embodied spirituality and ritual is the iconic Tina Turner. During her turbulent marriage to Ike Turner, Tina Turner began a practice of chanting – a ritualistic aspect of her decades-long Buddhist practice that she continued years after her divorce and even explored through her music. 

Chanting is a grounding ritual that could be incorporated into any spiritual practice. Chanting, including mantras (chants of encouragement or inspiration), engages the neurotransmitters in your brain, helping to reduce stress, improve concentration and support quality sleep.

Other examples of grounding rituals include prayer, stretching or yoga, and listening to or making music and sounds. Rituals can be performed alone or in community with others. Whatever form they take, rituals that promote stability and peacefulness help us build resilience. They can serve as a foundation for cultivating inner strength, confidence, belief in the possibilities, and faith during hard times. 

Black women understand ritual. Many of us grew up with the rituals of saying grace before a meal, of attending weekly service at our house of worship, or starting and ending gatherings with the Word. During the height of the Covid pandemic, the hit song by Nigerian singer-songwriter Sinache, “Way Maker,” became the most played song in churches across America in 2020. Leaning into music – uplifting songs and playlists that we turn to again and again – is another example of ritual that replenishes and nourishes

Ritual is one way that Black women infuse spirituality into what we do and how we go about doing our work. Our spirituality can be a guide and an anchor, offering us calm, stability, and hope. Spirituality is also about connecting with other people who share similar values. In The Spirit of Intimacy, Sobonfu Somé suggests that without Spirit we would have never made it to where we are today. 

Grounding Your Spiritual Practice

You may already have rituals incorporated into your daily routine. But if you don’t, it’s never too late to start. In our book, we offer several strategies for how Black women can build resilience through action and reflection. The following is an example of a practice that can become part of your repertoire of rituals. 

Energy Ritual: Set aside 10 to 15 minutes and find a quiet place. Use a timer so you can focus without thinking about the time. Settle your body and be still. Inhale deeply and exhale fully. Each time you inhale, focus on breathing in positive, healing energy. When you exhale, focus on letting go of negative, taxing energy. In that time and space, reflect and listen for messages from deep within yourself. Consider what is bringing you positive, uplifting energy, and what in your life is tapping and depleting your energy. 

When you’re done, take a few minutes more to write down a few thoughts and feelings that came up during the ritual, where you feel them in your body. Also note any action you might want to take to address any messages that came to you. 

Continue this ritual regularly, adding more time as you go. Consider what other rituals you might incorporate to build and enhance your spiritual practice. 

 
Lift Your Spirits, Boost Your Health
 

One study showed that spiritual or religious practice like prayer can help fight off depression – especially if depression runs in your family. 

The brain-mapping research at Teacher’s College at Columbia University found that found that people who valued their religion more and prayed regularly had thicker cortices when compared to those who did not. It seems that a thinning cortex is associated with depression. Regular church attendance was not a factor; the focus was more on how much people valued spirituality in their lives.

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Another study, by researchers at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, shows that meditation may improve symptoms of anxiety and depression. So much so that meditation appeared to provide the same kind of relief as that from antidepressants, the study’s leader said.

Other research points to countless benefits from spiritual practices, from relaxation and stress reduction to faster healing of surgical scars to increased immunity to just being happier.

The outtake: Spirituality and spiritual practices like prayer and meditation are not just good for your soul; they can actually boost your mental and physical well-being.

Docs may never write ’scripts for “take two prayers and call me in the morning,” but as we seek ways to recover and heal from whatever ails us, it’s good to remember the benefits of sweet and soulful surrender.