Robin Stone, LMHC, PLLC
Psychotherapist, Author, Speaker

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Robin D. Stone is a New York City based psychotherapist, coach and consultant who works to help you achieve your most optimal self. 

Posts tagged reflection
The World Has Changed. And Guess What: You Survived!
 
Photo Credit Artem Varnitsin from Canva

Photo Credit Artem Varnitsin from Canva

We’ve been through a lot over the past year, and we’re still going through it. There has been so much loss, so much suffering, and living on the edge. Not long ago, just going to -- or going to work at -- the grocery store was wrought with anxiety. For some, it still is.

Reflecting on this time makes me think of how often I’ve heard everyone from clients to friends compare themselves to other people who have made dramatic life changes during quarantine like starting a new business or drafting a novel, and feel as if they haven’t done enough. After I remind them that comparing yourself to others rarely makes you feel good (hello, social media), I remind them that they survived. And in this particularly dreadful year that we’ve come through, surviving is enough. There is beauty in that resilience.

This calls to mind Alice Walker’s poem called “The World Has Changed.” She wrote it in the wake of Barack Obama’s first presidential win. It was a dose of reality for those who still couldn't believe a Black man could actually become president, and who feared that harm would come to him. The world has undergone monumental changes since then and we survived those, too. 

Walker’s poem is just as relevant today. It opens with a call to action: 

… Wake up & smell*

The possibility. 

The world 

Has changed:

It did not 

Change

Without 

Your prayers 

Without

Your faith

Without 

Your determination

to

Believe

in liberation

&

Kindness; … 

It reminds us that we made it through rough times and did hard things. There were moments when you laughed or even cried. There were moments that blurred together -- months of days on repeat. There were moments when you were bone-tired when you were snippy with those you love when you turned to comfort food way too much. You may have felt guilty for surviving, but you kept going because what else were you going to do? And through the most awful moments, you emerged resiliently. 

You didn’t have to write a book or finish a dissertation —  that’s great if you did, but for some of us, just getting through with our sanity and a sense of peace is enough. 

However you emerge from a year of Covid should be celebrated -- it’s different for everyone.

As we look back on the past year, and consider how our world has changed, and remind ourselves that surviving is success in and of itself, take a moment to consider the lessons we’ve learned and how we’ve grown. Grab your journal and answer these two questions: 

What has the past year woken you up to? 

What gifts do you have that helped you make it through the year, and how can those gifts help you going forward?  

It’s true that the world has changed, but as Walker wrote, it did not change without your strength. 

* From Alice Walker’s Hard Times Require Furious Dancing.