How to Be Intentional about Rediscovering Your Joy
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The last few weeks might have caused you to feel like you were on an emotional rollercoaster. A feeling that is likely compounded by the emotions of the last 18 months as we all continue to navigate life during the age of a global pandemic. From the conviction for the murder of George Floyd to the continuing harm caused to people of color in this country to “bad actors” who are working hard to limit our voting rights and our right to protest, it’s easy to feel like you're enduring 1,000 pricks at your joy. You might feel exhausted, you might feel sad or you might feel angry as hell. And you know what? It’s all okay.
As people of color, we often don’t allow ourselves to slow down and feel the “feels.” We think we don’t have time for that right now, or we try to avoid it completely. We pick up, carry on and keep pushing forward -- just as our ancestors did. It’s part of our makeup. But it can also be a part of us that resists acknowledging the heartbreak when we learn about -- or witness via continuous media loops -- the debasement of humans who look like us.
It’s important to be aware that this can be traumatic. The effects of the trauma may look different for each of us. You may find it hard to focus. You may not want to socialize with friends. You may snap at your little one for no reason. You may feel sick and tired. It’s important to recognize that what you’re feeling may stem from navigating this current environment where there’s so much injustice, uncertainty, fear, and loss.
And just as you acknowledge what you’re experiencing, you can choose to be intentional about countering it. We have always had the ability to reach for joy, even in the midst of the most oppressive times. Our ancestors showed us that too. Now is the time for you to call on that again.
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Here are some simple ways to be intentional about reclaiming your joy.
Reconnect. Be among your family and friends, whether virtually or safely in person. A catch-up with your sister circle cultivates a sense of community and can soothe your soul.
Laugh. Find an oldie-but-goodie movie that you know is going to crack you up -- or a throw on anything featuring Tiffany Haddish. Laughter is actually good for you -- it relieves stress and releases feel-good hormones from your brain.
Start a new hobby. Do something new that is completely for your enjoyment. Maybe it’s something you’ve been wanting to try for a while or something you never imagined you’d try, such as gardening or learning how to play an instrument.
Add play to your day. With work, family and life -- we often get so busy we let go of the fun things that added spark to our lives. Explore those things again. Maybe it’s riding your bike, coloring, arts & crafts, or illuminating cultural games like Meet the Colonizers or Culture Tags.
Talk to someone. Part of getting through this time is knowing that you’re not in this alone. Talk to a friend, a counselor, a spiritual teacher, or some other trustworthy person and share what you’re feeling. If you're looking for a therapist in your area, tap into resources such as Therapy for Black Girls or Clinicians of Color.
Being intentional about your joy doesn’t mean that you’re ignoring your feelings. But you deserve to feel good and to find what brings you happiness. Claim that. It will help get you through.